Where Celebs Get Their Last Laugh
Header

Michael Jackson DEAD June 25, 2009

June 25th, 2012 | Posted by ajaxadmin in Celebrity | Conspiracy Theory | Finally Dead | Gone Too Soon | Tributes - (0 Comments)

mjacksonBorn: August 29, 1958

Died: June 25, 2009

High of his Life: Being hailed the “King of Pop” is a pretty remarkable feat. So is being considered the best performer of the modern age. He has had countless hits, extremely famous music videos, and his life earnings ranged in the $500 million zone. Epic. Yep, you could say that he had a pretty spectacular career and devoted fan base.

Even the non-devoted fans secretly loved his material. It’s just the truth. You can’t hate on the mastermind behind “Thriller.” It’s resulted in the most awesome zombie flash mobs everywhere. And we all love zombies, don’t we?

And, out of all things, he lived in an amusement park. That’s just awesome. Period.

Low of his Life: Let’s start with the fact that a talented young,  handsome black boy transitioned into a hideously odd-looking ghostly white woman. He’s also had some nasty allegations against him which involved giving children warm milk and tucking them into his bed. An interview soon followed intended to clear his name, but actually counted against him. The part where he claimed to find “nothing wrong with it” didn’t help his case.

In fact, the innocence of youth was sort of what he considered his high point- that’s probably why it’s the lowest part of his life. He was seemingly unaware as to why people thought he was a creeper. Maybe those lashings he and his siblings got as kids from dear old Daddy might have had something to do with it… nah.

Who Sees Him As a Hero: Japan… everyone else jumped on-board after his death.

BONUS: Watch the King of Pop take on the King of Rock ‘n’ Roll in a rap battle:

, , , , , ,

Patsy Ramsey DEAD June 24, 2006

June 24th, 2012 | Posted by ajaxadmin in Celebrity | Conspiracy Theory | Finally Dead - (0 Comments)

Patsy RamseyBorn: December 29, 1956

Died: June 24, 2006 aged 49

High of Her Life: Mother of famed daughter JonBenet, Patsy really had no “high” of her life to speak of, unless you count living vicariously through your daughter. She did however win the title of Miss West Virginia beauty title in 1977 and I bet that was the only good thing in her life up until her sister won the same title three years later and she was immediately snubbed by her parents.

Low of Her Life: Her daughter was murdered at the mere age of six. Considering the fact that we all know she did it, this could also be considered the high of her life since she successfully completed the murder and got away with it. But on a serious note, she spent the last ten years of her life defending her innocence and later contracted ovarian cancer which led to her death in 2006.

Who Sees Her as a Hero: Parents looking to murder their children for wetting the bed and get away with it, OJ Simpson, and parents who think it’s okay to parade your child around in beauty pageants.

, , , ,

Nicole Brown Simpson DEAD June 12th, 1994

June 12th, 2012 | Posted by christinem in Celebrity | Conspiracy Theory | Gone Too Soon - (0 Comments)

Born: May 19th, 1959

Died: June 12th, 1994

High of Her Life: Marrying a famous football player. Nicole Brown Simpson isn’t famous for much more than that, other than being really hot. Marrying a celebrity means instant C-level celebrity status for that person, so she became a name just by being his wife. And at that point in time, OJ was considered a legitimate human being and not a total psycho. So she pretty much had it made, at the time.

Low of her Life: Getting murdered. I mean, it’s definitely an exciting way to die, if not the most positive. And her murder did make her a household name, but probably not in the way she would have wanted. What’s worse is, everyone is pretty sure OJ did it, but he went completely free. Then wrote a creepy book called “If I Did It”.   Sure, IF.

Who Sees Her As a Hero: Nobody. The girl couldn’t avoid being murdered. She failed at life.

, , ,

George Mallory DEAD June 8, 1924

June 8th, 2012 | Posted by Kristing in Celebrity | Conspiracy Theory - (0 Comments)

Born: June 18, 1886

Died: June 8, 1924

High of His Life: This guy was a fantastic explorer. After serving in World War 1 he became an avid climber and has the tenuous title of the first “real” ascent of Mt. Everest.

Low of His Life: Well, he never made it to the top…or maybe he did. We’re not sure. On June 8 (or maybe 9) Mallory and his climbing partner died only a few meters from the summit of Everest. It’s unclear whether they were going up or coming down. What is true, however, is that no one found them for 75 years! That’s right, this guy was frozen on the side of the world’s tallest mountain until 1999. It is theorized that these two made the summit and were traveling back down because Mallory’s daughter claims that he always carried a photograph of his wife on his person when he climbed. Even though his clothing and all of his tools were found in almost perfect (though frozen) condition, there was no trace of the photograph. It is theorized therefore that he made the summit, deposited the photograph there (as he promised his wife he would do), and was on his way back down. No photograph has ever been found at the top of Everest. Perhaps sadder still is the fact that his own son doesn’t believe he made it. John Mallory said ”To me the only way you achieve a summit is to come back alive. The job is only half done if you don’t get down again.” Nice legacy, Dad.

Who Sees Him as a Hero: Mountain climbers, adventurers, thrill seekers, explorers, and Ötzi the Iceman