If you're dead, you're doomed
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Born May 12, 1937

Died June 22, 2008 aged 71

High of His Life: George Carlin is undeniably one of the most significant comics in history. He was, along with Richard Pryor and Lenny Bruce, one of the first comedians to move from a set-up punchline style of comedy to a more conversational and far darker style. His style of complaining about social norms and politics, occasionally rattled the status-quo. One of his routines “Seven Dirty Words” became a center piece in a Supreme Court case in which the right of  the government to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves.

He won five best comedy album Grammy Awards. He was the first host of Saturday Night Live. Add to that his appearance in the cult classic Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure and you have yourself a pretty good career.

Low of His Life: Sadly though, George Carlin kept going. From the moment he started it appeared that for Carlin getting increasingly negative was his comedy evolution. As a result each couple of years he would put  out a special with less and less humor and more and more vitriol. By his last special it seemed clear that Carlin didn’t want to live at all. As a result his death almost felt like a relief. Not to him but to people who respected him. It saved us all from having to sit through another special where he told us all how dumb we were and how useless everything is.

Sometimes you go out on the top, and sometimes you just go out.

Who Sees Him As a Hero: Misanthropes, Doug Stanhope, Marc Maron, old people who hate life but are too afraid to kill themselves

 

Popularity: 6% [?]

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Born June 11, 1977

Died June 20, 2011 aged 34

High of His Life: Ryan Dunn was a Jackass, in literally the best possible way. He hurt himself for public amusement and it worked. He was a beloved figure of fun and frolic just like the rest of his cohorts in the Jackass films and television series.

His most infamous moment appears in Jackass: The Movie the first in an incredibly lucrative string of films. In the film he shoved a toy car in a heavily lubricated condom up his rectum. He then went to a doctor for an x-ray complaining of pain in his tailbone. It was inspired trash. The kind of inspired trash that we will now miss with his untimely passing.

Low of His Life: After a life spent hurting himself and doing epic acts of stupidity Ryan Dunn has sadly managed to die because of drunk driving. A true tragedy.

Who Sees Him As a Hero: Internet celebrities, aspiring Jackasses, people who’s cultural cognizance cuts off around 2002.

 

Popularity: 14% [?]

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Born June 14, 1928

Died October 9, 1967, aged 39

High of His Life: If you’re going to be portrayed in separate movies by “Hip-spanic” heart throb Gael García Bernal AND champion Latino thespian Benicio Del Toro, you must be a pretty big deal. Surprisingly, researching Che Guevara can be sort of boring. Oh sure he was an accomplished doctor who tried to help those around him and eventually became radicalized by the sense of poverty and desperation surrounding him. And yes, he did play an integral part in Fidel Castro’s Cuban Revolution(as well as revolutionary activity in a wide array of other countries), but really that’s it.

Obviously his greatest accomplishment is being on all those damn t-shirts. Somehow while fighting against tyranny and inequality often violently Che’s image became the “Golden  Arches of the pinkos” as I have decided to call it. Can any of us forget the first time a full of shit person wearing a Che Guevara shirt told us about the power of hemp or 9/11 being an inside job?

Low of His Life: Guevara was so reviled by the United States that the CIA got a it’s collabo on with a Nazi war criminal to orchestrate his capture. No one looks good here. Prior to his execution by Bolivian troops Guevara was asked if he was thinking of his mortality. He responded “No, I’m thinking of the immortality of the revolution.” Meaning his prediction of the future was more off base than that of Back To The Future Part II.

Who Sees Him As a Hero: Rage Against the Machine singer Zach De La Rocha, models trying to look edgy, Hip-spanics everywhere.

 

Popularity: 12% [?]

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