Celebrity News Blog / Xlebrity.com

Shari Lewis DEAD August 2, 1998

Born January 17, 1933

Died August 2, 1998 aged 65

High(s) of Her Life: Shari Lewis was beloved by many and all it took was an annoying voice and a sock. You see, kids can be really dumb and Shari Lewis knew this. She made a sock look like a lamb invented a character that is mildly sassy at best and mostly cloyingly needy at worst. But she made tons of money doing it and mostly passed on a message of positivity to young kids everywhere.

Low(s) of Her Life: What she also passed on is a song so infectious and awful it might as well be the audio equivalent of the plague. In the mouths and (once again dumb)minds of young children it was sung incessantly and without regard for decency. As soon as I started writing this post it was lodged in my head and now I can’t get it out. I apologize for even mentioning the song’s name as it’s corruptive power has probably already crept into your bloodstream. The song was called the “The Song That Doesn’t End,” it has outlived Lewis as her evil mantra implanted in all of us until we like her die, mercifully.

Who Sees Her As a Hero: Any lunatic talking to a piece of felt, whoever is responsible for the McDonalds Filet O’Fish jingle, DJ Lance Rock.

Popularity: 19% [?]

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George Steinbrenner DEAD July 13th, 2010

Posted by EricM in Uncategorized - (0 Comments)

Born July 4th, 1930

Dead July 13th, 2010

High of His Life: George Michael Steinbrenner III got to own the Biggest sports franchise in the world, and then he somehow made himself even bigger. He returned the struggling Yankees to greatness, and they are currently the most profitable team in all of sports mainly because of him.

Steinbrenner won not just at the bank, but on the field as well; his Yankee teams brought home 7 World Series Championships during his time as owner, including 2009, the last World Series he’d be alive for.

Most notable, however, should be Steinbrenner’s considerable charity work. He often donated to the families of police officers in the New York area who had lost their lives in the line of duty. He was also a big supporter of the Boys and Girls Club and the Salvation Army, and donated approximately $1 million to St. Joseph’s Children’s Hospital.

He was also featured prominently in the television series Seinfeld, voiced by Larry David, and got to share a nickname with legendary rock ‘n roller Bruce Springsteen, who despite my request, did not end up playing at The Boss’s funeral.

Low of His Life: Despite the stories of charity and straightforward kindness, Steinbrenner was more well-known as a tremendous dick. He was one of the first sports team owners to garner a reputation for severely meddling with a teams day-to-day affairs, typically in a detrimental way.

Additionally, he pleaded guilty in 1974 for making illegal contributions to Richard Nixon’s re-election campaign and charges of obstruction of justice. For this he was suspended for two years from Major League Baseball, a sentence that seems laughable when one recognzies The Boss actually received a lifetime ban from the game in 1990.

That’s right, the guy most NY sports fans want to be put into baseball’s Hall of Fame, got Pete Rose’d over two decades ago for paying a POS lowlife named Howie Spira $40,000 to spy on then-Yankee Dave Winfield. He was reinstated before the 1993 season, inexplicably, and undeservedly.

Who Sees Him As a Hero: Jerry Jones, Mark Cuban, Daniel Snyder, miscellaneous asshole bosses who enjoy a good power trip.

Popularity: 9% [?]

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Sherwood Schwartz DEAD July 12, 2011

Posted by TimD in Celebrity Gossip | Celebrity News | Entertainment | Popular News | TV - (0 Comments)

Born November 14, 1916

Died July 12, 2011 aged 94

High(s) of His Life: Sherwood Schwartz trapped five people on a tropical island for three years. Then he created an experiment where in an entirely female family merged with an entirely male family. Both of these psychotic inventions rattled the collective cultural mind of America in the 1960′s. In a way the tidy plot lines and “high” concept plots of these television programs make Schwartz more like Henry Ford than say Sopranos auteur David Chase. These shows were not art, they were well crafted junk. Their success however was undeniable and that can solely be accredited to Schwartz who even wrote their theme songs which you should now solemnly implant in your head for the next several hours in tribute.

Low(s) of His Life: Being a television junk merchant meant Schwartz’s relevance was outlived by his two monstrous creations. Begrudgingly Hollywood gave him a star on the Hollywood walk of fame in 2008 when he was 91 already.

Who Sees Him As a Hero: Chuck Lorre and anyone else looking to bang out television cheaply and neatly

Popularity: 8% [?]

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Harvey Pekar DEAD July 12, 2010

Posted by TimD in Celebrity Gossip | Celebrity News | Entertainment | Movies | Popular News - (0 Comments)

Born October 8, 1949

Died July 12, 2010 aged 70

High(s) of His Life: Harvey Pekar was a grump. It was less a personality trait for Pekar than a life philosophy. In spite of that he always made sure to live his life the way he wanted. He made comic books the way he wanted, extremely confessional, often strangely mundane. Somewhere in between all that he found love in Joyce Brabner. They raised a daughter together. They also beat cancer together.

He described his comic book in a way that he might have described his life: ”an autobiography written as it’s happening. The theme is about staying alive. Getting a job, finding a mate, having a place to live, finding a creative outlet. Life is a war of attrition. You have to stay active on all fronts. It’s one thing after another. I’ve tried to control a chaotic universe. And it’s a losing battle. But I can’t let go. I’ve tried, but I can’t.”

Low(s) of His Life: The lows for Pekar are almost deceptively like highs. Someone made a play of his life, he hated it. He appeared on Late Night with David Letterman, he hated that too. For a guy who made his art entirely self centered Harvey Pekar didn’t seem to want the spotlight. It came after him and eventually made him enough money(along with his pension mind you) that he could retire from his job at the post office.

Who Sees Him As a Hero: Ivan Brunetti, Peter Bagge, basically any indie comic artist more interested in their own id than super heroes

Popularity: 9% [?]

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Syd Barrett DEAD July 7, 2006

Posted by MattC in Celebrity Gossip | Celebrity News - (0 Comments)

Born: January 6, 1946

Died: July 7, 2006

High of His Life: Syd Barrett will mostly be remembered for being the founding member of Pink Floyd, one of the most popular and game changing psychedelic rock bands ever. He’ll be remembered mostly as the one who made watching the Wizard of Oz in sync with dark Side of the Moon a past time in times of serious boredom. If you haven’t tried doing that already all it means is that you have a life, unlike most Syd Barrett fans.

Low of His Life: Well,let’s start by saying he left Pink Floyd for a solo career. He became increasingly weirder and unpredictable to the point where he failed to give proper live performances. After pumping himself full of drugs for decades he eventually went out of his mind. He disappeared for decades in self-induced isolation, not unlike Howard Hughes although for very different reasons. He even had to be institutionalized for his delusions. It’s a shame, really, but it’s okay because roger Waters will take a lot of glory for the band as well and we can now all follow him instead.

Who Sees Him As a Hero: Political activists, angst ridden teenagers, people who work at the beverage center, and people who just want to “stick it to the man.”

Popularity: 10% [?]

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Jim Morrison DEAD July 3, 1971

Born: December 8, 1943

Died: July 3, 1971

High of Her Life: As a singer Jim Morrison fundamentally stinks, but not in any particularly offensive way. As a songwriter he also stinks, though many folks have celebrated him as a “poet” his lyrics were junk. Still that he could parlay bad singing and worse poetry into being a celebrated Rock and Roll martyr is an achievement.

Personally I would say his high point is the schmaltzy “Touch Me” a song in which Jim Morrison invents Vegas Elvis before he existed. The song is the height of the Doors’ career because it is the only song they ever made smart enough to be dumb.

Low of Her Life: Jim Morrison was kind enough to die in a bathtub in Paris. But his true low was the fact that his gross and obnoxious fans were such scumbags that he was removed from his burial plot due to their vandalism. Shitty people attract shitty people, it is a vicious cycle.

Who Sees Her As a Hero: Iggy Pop, bad poets everywhere, leather pant retailers.

Popularity: 16% [?]

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Marlon Brando DEAD July 1, 2004

Posted by TimD in Celebrity Gossip | Celebrity News | Entertainment | Movies | TV - (0 Comments)

Born: April 3, 1924

Died: July 1, 2004

High of Her Life: Marlon Brando is widely considered the greatest actor of all time. He screamed “Stella!” in the rain, he mumbled something about being “a contenda”, he shoved cotton in his mouth and went off the deep end in the jungle, finally he arrived at the part he was born to play, Jor-El. Through out all of those roles one thing was consistent, Marlon Brando did whatever he wanted.

The high of his life though had to be his 1994 interview with Larry King which appears to be Brando’s only comfortable public appearance ever. See for yourself.

Low of Her Life: Being fat. People who were once attractive and slowly turn into mushy piles of fat are sad tragic creatures. Few people turned into bigger heaps than Marlon Brando. The man who once bedded Marilyn Monroe became a fellow who probably couldn’t see the tip of his own manhood without hoisting his gut up.

Who Sees Her As a Hero: Actors, Italians.

Popularity: 12% [?]

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Kevin ‘GG’ Allin DEAD June 28, 1993

Born: August 29, 1956

Died: June 28, 1993 aged 36

High of Her Life: Born Jesus Christ Allin, yup, you can pretty much put the high point right there. How does one live up to the given name Jesus Christ? Well when you are Jesus Christ Allin, later changed by his mother to Kevin James Allin, you simply never try. After being bestowed with that name it was all child abuse and Lyme disease for young GG Allin(so named because his brother, unable to pronounce Jesus, used to call him Jeje).

Low of Her Life: But oh those crazy lows, were so purposefully low that they might almost classify as highs. GG Allin was in a collection of some of the best worst named rock bands in history; the Murder Junkies, the Carolina Shitkickers, the Scumfucks, Bulge, the Toilet Rockers, Bloody Mess and the Scabs, and of course the Texas Nazis. The song titles were even better bad titles: “Hard Candy Cock,” “Drink Fight And Fuck,” “I’m Gonna Rape You,” “Sluts In The City,” “Eat My Diarrhea,” “Expose Yourself To Kids,” and many many more.

Off stage GG Allin abused any and all sorts of drugs available, being particularly fond of booze and heroin. On stage Allin abused laxatives to “explosive” results, often shitting all over himself the stage and the audience. He regularly promised on stage suicides but always found himself in prison on said nights. Allin was arrested for rape and torture in 1989. He claimed the woman to be a willing participant and even admitted to cutting and burning her, and drinking her blood. He said she did the same. He was imprisoned from December ’89 through March ’91, and managed to write a book while in prison.

After prison Allin made appearances on Geraldo and Jerry Springer. In 1993 he died of a simple run of the mill heroin overdose. An almost slight end to such a scarily dangerous career. His open casket funeral(in which morticians were told to not use makeup or clean the corpse, which wreaked of feces) is now widely available on DVDs and the internet. His grave calls him a “Rock N Roll Terrorist.”

Who Sees Her as a Hero: Roy Ziegler, Steve O, anyone who has ever put a swear word in a band name or defecated in public for fun.

For more music writing including articles about Fucked Up, 2Pac and the Crucifucks check out This Great Blog.

Popularity: 23% [?]

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Senator Strom Thurmond DEAD June 26, 2003

Posted by TimD in Celebrity News - (0 Comments)

Born: December 5, 1902

Died: June 26, 2003 aged 100

High of Her Life: Being a raging racist the 20th century was probably a hard time for Senator Strom Thurmond. But oh those early years probably felt glorious. He fought against civil rights repetitively through out the decades of his frighteningly illustrious political career. He also was able to remake the Republican party into his own hyper racist image and as a result created the southern strategy a tool that was used as recently as 2008, though of course it failed there. (Pretty big time, ol’ Strom was probably turning in his grave over that election.) Either way he managed to be reelected for 47 years! He was basically a mummy by the time he retired.

Low of Her Life: Like I said being a racist in the 20th century was rough. Civil rights got through advanced through out his political career and soon he looked like a real d-bag. After his death it was discovered that maybe the good Senator wasn’t so racist after all. He maybe had a flavor for chocolate and even had a daughter in that flavor. Real nice Strom.

Who Sees Her as a Hero: A large number of southern white men who are not “racist” they just worry about the direction their country is going.

Popularity: 8% [?]

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Farrah Fawcett DEAD June 25, 2009

Posted by ChristineM in Uncategorized - (1 Comments)

Born: February 2nd, 1947

Died: June 25th, 2009

High of Her Life: Known most famously as Jill from Charlie’s Angels, Farrah Fawcett was a sex icon and a well loved actress in the late 70s to early 80s. That famous red bathing suit poster was plastered on every male college dorm room wall (over 12 million copies have been sold to date). And we can’t forget the fact that she had thousands of women sporting “Farrah hair”. Men loved her, women wanted to be her, what’s a higher point than that?

Low of Her Life: Being diagnosed with anal cancer. Yes, anal cancer. Kind of an embarrassing cancer to say you had. It’s like you’d rather just tell someone you have syphilis or that you own a Justin Bieber album than tell them you have anal cancer. Also, having her death overshadowed by Michael Jackson’s. Sorry Farrah, we cared for about 4 hours. Then we deemed your entire life as less important.

Who Sees Her As a Hero: Every teenage girl in the late 70s, every adolescent boy who ever has and ever will live.

Popularity: 20% [?]

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