Celebrity News Blog / Xlebrity.com

Michael Jackson DEAD June 25, 2009

Born: August 29, 1958

Died: June 25, 2009

High of his Life: Being hailed the “King of Pop” is a pretty remarkable feat. So is being considered the best performer of the modern age. He has had countless hits, extremely famous music videos, and his life earnings ranged in the $500 million zone. Epic. Yep, you could say that he had a pretty spectacular career and devoted fan base. Even the non-devoted fans secretly loved his material. It’s just the truth. You can’t hate on the mastermind behind “Thriller.” It’s resulted in the most awesome zombie flash mobs everywhere. And we all love zombies, don’t we?

And, out of all things, he lived in an amusement park. That’s just awesome. Period.

Low of his Life: Let’s start with the fact that a talented young, handsome black boy transitioned into a hideously odd-looking ghostly white woman. He’s also had some nasty allegations against him which involved giving children warm milk and tucking them into his bed. An interview soon followed intended to clear his name, but actually counted against him. The part where he claimed to find “nothing wrong with it” didn’t help his case.

In fact, the innocence of youth was sort of what he considered his high point- that’s probably why it’s the lowest part of his life. He was seemingly unaware as to why people thought he was a creeper. Maybe those lashings he and his siblings got as kids from dear old Daddy might have had something to do with it… nah.

Who Sees Him As a Hero: Japan… everyone else jumped on-board after his death.

Popularity: 7% [?]

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Peter Falk DEAD June 24, 2011

Born: September 16, 1927

Died: June 24, 2011 age 83

High of Her Life: Peter Falk was an actor of the stage and screen in spite of the fact that his face looked all weird and lop sided. It was quite the accomplishment to be THAT funny looking and that famous but it was all thanks to that strange voice of his. His year’s as television’s Columbo permanently etched him into the psyche of American pop culture.

Low of Her Life: In the movie Woman Under the Influence Falk played a troubled dad trying to raise children in spite of the collapsing mental state of his wife. It was harrowing to say the least and it is genuinely hard to watch, so much so that it seems real. A guy who could play that so real has got to have had some pretty steep lows in his life.

Who Sees Her as a Hero: Steve Buscemi, TV cops, old people.

Popularity: 16% [?]

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Patsy Ramsey DEAD June 24, 2006

Posted by KristenM in Celebrity News - (0 Comments)

Born: December 29, 1956

Died: June 24, 2006 aged 49

High of Her Life: Mother of famed daughter JonBenet, Patsy really had no “high” of her life to speak of, unless you count living vicariously through your daughter. She did however win the title of Miss West Virginia beauty title in 1977 and I bet that was the only good thing in her life up until her sister won the same title three years later and she was immediately snubbed by her parents.

Low of Her Life: Her daughter was murdered at the mere age of six. Considering the fact that we all know she did it, this could also be considered the high of her life since she successfully completed the murder and got away with it. But on a serious note, she spent the last ten years of her life defending her innocence and later contracted ovarian cancer which led to her death in 2006.

Who Sees Her as a Hero: Parents looking to murder their children for wetting the bed and get away with it, OJ Simpson, and parents who think it’s okay to parade your child around in beauty pageants.

Popularity: 18% [?]

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Jackie Gleason DEAD June 24, 1987

Posted by MattC in Celebrity Gossip | Celebrity News | Entertainment | Movies | TV - (0 Comments)

Born: February 26,1916

Dead: June 24, 1987

High of his Life: I think being on one of the most acclaimed sitcoms of all-time, The Honeymooners, garners some credibility. That, along with his contributions to the Smokey and the Bandit movies. He was a smart business man and owned percentages of all his shows. Although he is mostly beloved as a comedic actor with a short fuse, he had his stint as dramatic actor. He got acclaim for the movies The Hustler and Requiem for a Heavyweight (no pun intended- he’s not actually the boxer, but fat jokes were bound to come).

His catchphrase, “One of these days, Alice, pow right in the kisser,” would become the silver-lining for abusive spouses the world ’round.

Low of his Life: He was a chain-smoker, consuming about five packs a day. He was also quite fond of his alcohol. The combination plus a few unexplained late nights led not only to two failed marriages but to a myriad of complications including diabetes, liver and colon cancer, phlebitis, and thrombosed hemorrhoids. Talk about having some serious medical baggage. I guess it was a good thing he had the money to pay for that bill, but still, having all of those conditions at one time has to suck.

Who Sees Him as a Hero: Over-the-hill comedians, war vets, and other really old people.

Popularity: 14% [?]

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Ed McMahon DEAD June 23, 2009

Posted by TimD in Celebrity Gossip | Celebrity News | Entertainment | Tips from Celebrities | TV - (0 Comments)

Born March 6, 1923

Died June 23, 2009 aged 86

High of His Life: Ed McMahon was a broadcasting legend and he did it all while barely stepping out of the shadow of his boss. He was Johnny Carson’s sidekick for thirty years, in the eyes and dreams of most Americans on a nightly basis without any of the pressure that has been known to make late night talk show hosts dark monsters when the cameras turn off. He is really the Ringo of American comedy legends, he provided a good beat (in his classically rendered but impossible to recreate in text laugh), smiled politely, and got his name out there.

McMahon was also the host of Star Search making him something like Simon Cowel’s kindly broadcasting grandfather.

Low of His Life: As the face of Publisher’s Clearing House sweepstakes for decades McMahon, unlike his insular and well guarded boss, was forced to hoist novelty checks into a van and visit actual people at their actual homes. Seems gross and he did over and over again.

Who Sees Him As a Hero: Andy Richter, Robim, Hank Kingsley, Joe Biden.

Popularity: 15% [?]

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George Carlin DEAD June 22, 2008

Posted by TimD in Celebrity Gossip | Celebrity News | Entertainment | Movies | TV - (0 Comments)

Born May 12, 1937

Died June 22, 2008 aged 71

High of His Life: George Carlin is undeniably one of the most significant comics in history. He was, along with Richard Pryor and Lenny Bruce, one of the first comedians to move from a set-up punchline style of comedy to a more conversational and far darker style. His style of complaining about social norms and politics, occasionally rattled the status-quo. One of his routines “Seven Dirty Words” became a center piece in a Supreme Court case in which the right of the government to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves.

He won five best comedy album Grammy Awards. He was the first host of Saturday Night Live. Add to that his appearance in the cult classic Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure and you have yourself a pretty good career.

Low of His Life: Sadly though, George Carlin kept going. From the moment he started it appeared that for Carlin getting increasingly negative was his comedy evolution. As a result each couple of years he would put out a special with less and less humor and more and more vitriol. By his last special it seemed clear that Carlin didn’t want to live at all. As a result his death almost felt like a relief. Not to him but to people who respected him. It saved us all from having to sit through another special where he told us all how dumb we were and how useless everything is.

Sometimes you go out on the top, and sometimes you just go out.

Who Sees Him As a Hero: Misanthropes, Doug Stanhope, Marc Maron, old people who hate life but are too afraid to kill themselves

Popularity: 7% [?]

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John Smith DEAD June 21st, 1631

Posted by EricM in Uncategorized - (0 Comments)

Born January 1580

Died June 21st, 1631

High of his Life: Captain John Smith was an Admiral of New England, an English soldier, famous explorer of the New World and even a well-respected author. He was a major influence for Englishmen and women in the 1600s in encouraging colonization of North America.

But perhaps most importantly, over three-hundred-sixty years after his death, Smith was able to achieve that which any good hard working American wishes for themselves; he was depicted in a Disney cartoon.

Low of his Life: For a famous explorer, he sure did get captured a lot. In 1602 he was captured and sold as a slave by the Tatars (which sounds like an alien from Star Trek), in 1607 he was capturned by the Powhatans (Pocahantas’ tribe), in his 1630 novel True Travels he tells the tale of being captured by Turks in Hungary, and in 1615 he was captured by French pirates.

And not only was J.S.’s portrayal in the Disney film completely and utterly inaccurate, but historians who have reviewed Smith’s letters to Queen Anne suspect he likely just made it all up. As if living a lie wasn’t bad enough, his voice was done by Mel Gibson… and then Mel’s brother Donnie in the straight-to-DVD-sequel.

Who Sees Him As A Hero: Pocahantas, allegedly…. Zach Galifianakis, Tim Duffy, Jack Black, Richard Karn… any man rocking that big, bushy, J.S.-style beard. Also, all the other John Smiths out there, checking into Hotel Rooms, skipping out on their electric bills.

Popularity: 22% [?]

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Ryan Dunn DEAD June 20, 2011

Born June 11, 1977

Died June 20, 2011 aged 34

High of His Life: Ryan Dunn was a Jackass, in literally the best possible way. He hurt himself for public amusement and it worked. He was a beloved figure of fun and frolic just like the rest of his cohorts in the Jackass films and television series.

His most infamous moment appears in Jackass: The Movie the first in an incredibly lucrative string of films. In the film he shoved a toy car in a heavily lubricated condom up his rectum. He then went to a doctor for an x-ray complaining of pain in his tailbone. It was inspired trash. The kind of inspired trash that we will now miss with his untimely passing.

Low of His Life: After a life spent hurting himself and doing epic acts of stupidity Ryan Dunn has sadly managed to die because of drunk driving. A true tragedy.

Who Sees Him As a Hero: Internet celebrities, aspiring Jackasses, people who’s cultural cognizance cuts off around 2002.

Popularity: 15% [?]

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Ezra Fitch DEAD June 16, 1930

Posted by TimD in Celebrity Fashion | Celebrity Gossip - (0 Comments)

Born September 21, 1865

Died June 16, 1930 aged 65

High of His Life: As a man of the late 19th and early 20th centuries Ezra Fitch enjoyed many of the finer things in life. He fished and hunted in his families estate. He went to law school and was a real estate developer in New York when there was still real estate to develop. In 1882 Fitch became an avid customer of the “excursion store” Abercrombie Co. operated by David Abercrombie. Eventually by 1900 Fitch had talked his way into a partnership with Abercrombie in selling hunting and fishing clothes to various fancy pants elites. By 1907 Fitch, who was clearly a son-of-a-bitch, had weaseled Abercrombie out of the company all together and began a concerted and successful effort to expand the company to more of the general public.

Fitch having managed to live his entire life without ever having to worry about money died on his yacht in 1930.

Low of His Life: A rich guy who never had even a moment of doubt or trouble in his life, seems possible the Fitch never had a low. That said it must trouble him a little that the company he bought into because it sold gentlemanly hunting and fishing clothes now generally services frat boys and date rapists.

Who Sees Him As a Hero: Frat boys and date rapists.

Popularity: 16% [?]

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James K. Polk DEAD June 15th, 1849

Posted by EricM in Uncategorized - (1 Comments)

Born November 2^nd, 1795

Died June 15t, 1849

High of His Life: James K. Polk was the 11^th and perhaps most underrated President of the United States. But beforehand, he served as a Congressional representative of Tennessee (and managed to serve his term without tweeting pictures of his erect penis), spent four years as the Speaker of the House, and another three as the Governor of his home state.

His list of accomplishments as President, however, are best described in the They Might Be Giants classic song named after him:

“In four short years he met his every goal
He seized the whole southwest from Mexico
Made sure the tarriffs fell
And made the English sell the Oregon territory
He built an independent treasury
Having done all this he sought no second term”

Low of his Life: JKP kicked so much ass in his short but result-filled term that historians think it killed him. Seriously. Polk lost a ton of weight during his four years as Commander in Chief and died just three months after leaving office. This is still the record for the shortest retirement of any U.S. Prez (103 days), and also made him the youngest former Prez to die in retirement.

It’s also worth noting that Polk, listed at a generous 5”8, was the first President to have “Hail to the Chief” played when he entered a room… because nobody ever noticed when he walked in a place due to his unimpressive appearance. It’s inexplicable why they didn’t opt to play the TMBG medley instead.

Who See’s Him As a Hero: It seems like it’s just me and the guys from They Might Be Giants, though citizens of California, Nevada, Utah, Arizona, and parts of New Mexico and Colorado, should be grateful to Polk, ‘cause otherwise they’d be Mexican. And on the North side, residents of Washington, Idaho, Oregon, and parts of Montana and Wyoming should also show some respect, ‘cause otherwise they’d be Canadian. Your welcome.

Popularity: 12% [?]

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