Born December 21st, 1926

Died January 22, 2012

High of his Life: Joseph Vincent “Joe” Paterno was the head coach of the Penn State football team from 1965 until 2011. He is arguablly the greatest college coach of all time, in all sports, coaching five undefeated teams, becoming the only coach with over 400 victories, and winning a pair of national championships. He’s also a member of the College Football Hall of Fame and holds the record for the most victories by an NCAA Division 1 Football coach with 409.

JoePa’s accomplishments extend beyond the gridiron, however. Paterno put a heavy emphasis on his players graduating, and his rosters consistently ranked above the D-1 average in GPA and graduation rate. He was the first college football coach to be named SI’s “Sportsman of the Year,” and also received the NCAA Gerald R. Ford Award as recently as 2011. Most notable is that the library at PSU bears his name, as Paterno and his wife Sue personally donated over $4 million to help expand it.

As Bill Lyon often wrote, “the least important thing Joe Paterno did was coach football.”

Low of his Life: Up until recently, the low of Paterno’s life was the time he had to leave the football field in the middle of a game because it appeared he had pooped his pants. That was before the Sandusky Scandal, which has altered Paterno’s legacy forever.

JoePa built the Penn State football program on the idea that collegiate athletics should find “Success with Honor.”  That mantra took a serious hit when it was revealed Paterno knew his former defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky was banging little kids in the Penn State lockerroom, and the old head coach knew about it as far back as 2002, and likely as far back as 1998, yet did the bare minimum. And they still let the diddler use school facilities and watch games from the Presidents box as recently as this past season.

Joe Paterno did a lot of truly incredibly, philanthropic deeds that should be applauded. But the fact remains that when given the opportunity to stop the horrible inhumane actions of someone he was close with, he failed miserably. Because of this, it is the things Paterno DIDN’T do that will define his life, not the things he did do. It’s a damn shame, but it seems pretty well deserved.

Who Sees JoePa As A Hero: Inexplicably, everyone in Happy Valley, including moronic uneducated rioting students who see this enabler as a demigod. Also, current Penn State alumni who think that covering-up the actions of a serial child molester isn’t grounds for dismissal. And conspiracy theorists.

Popularity: 4% [?]